Day 213 – Merry Christmas! December 25, 2009

Breakfast:

• 3 Cups of Coffee + 3 Tbsp Creamer = 81 calories
• 1/2 Banana (small) = 45 calories
• 1/8 Cup Granola = 62.5 calories
• 2 Strawberries = 10 calories
• 1/3 Grapefruit = 22 calories
• Apple Slice = 5 calories
• 1/4 Cup Vanilla Light & Fit Yogurt = 27.5 calories
• 1 Hannaford “The Works” Bagel = 250 calories
• 2 Tbsp Hannaford Vegetable Cream Cheese = 90 calories
• 2 Small Slices of Egg White Soufflé = 200 calories (at the MOST!)
• 1 Mimosa = 137 calories

Pre-Run:

• 1 Kashi Dark Almond Mocha Granola Bar = 130 calories

Post-Run:

• Antipasto (small pieces of bread with tomato slices, fresh mozzarella, black/green olives, spinach, and pepperoni)
• Shrimp w/ sauce

Dinner:

• Chicken Piccata w/ Penne and Cauliflower

Dessert:

• 1 Slice of Chocolate Cheese Cake

A Christmas Miracle in Disguise? December 24, 2009

Last night I fucked up once again. It’s pretty hilarious considering after reading Lauren’s post I felt so empowered and ready to combat the rest of my day without making bad choices. I felt focused and driven to get through my scheduled tasks, and I started checking things off one by one. I went to CVS to get a few pictures developed. It turns out I have to go back today because I accidentally zoomed in too much on one of the pictures and it needs to be fixed. Kind of frustrating, but oh well. After I got back to the house, I started my laundry. I started getting distracted because Dale was around and he was fixing the wall outside the bathroom that I use (and he was also blocking my doorway – not enough to prevent me from going into my room, but enough to keep me out of it and in the kitchen). So, I sat around and wasted time while my laundry was going. I packed a little here and there and will finish the rest today. I don’t know why I’m such a horrible packer. I’m going to be home for 5 days, and you’d think I was staying forever. Maybe subconsciously I want to…actually, consciously I want to!

I started getting hungry again. I knew I shouldn’t have eaten the Dark Cocoa Almonds. What a waste of calories! The real waste of calories was the Triple Berry Muffin I ate in the morning. The problem with this decision is that I wasn’t hungry when I bought it. I keep associating buying coffee with buying a muffin. It’s only at this particular place though (Fresh & Co. – downstairs in my building). I love their coffee with soy milk, so it puts me in a breakfasty and desserty mood. Before I even got up from my desk and made the decision to go get coffee I knew that if I bought one from downstairs I would probably end up buying a muffin. UGH! Why do I put myself in these situations? If I knew that buying a coffee would tempt me to accompany it with food, then I shouldn’t have gone! My thoughts: “Oh well, I’ll just go downstairs and see what happens!”

Anyway, so I ate the muffin. It was fat-free (or so the sign said) and 290 calories. I didn’t need those calories, and they definitely would have helped later in the day when I was getting hungry for dinner. I need to break the habit of buying muffins or mixed nuts with my coffee. Also, buying coffee needs to become a reward. I’d like to cut back my coffee drinking and start focusing more on tea.

The rest of the day (until nighttime) went fairly smooth. I managed to almost resist a bagel temptation. I briefly described the situation in my calorie-count post, so no need to elaborate. Like Lauren suggested, I need to be more firm in saying “No,” or I should have thrown away the entire thing instead of taking a few bites first. I’m proud of myself at least for getting that far! I think the more I get better at resisting temptations in certain situations, the worse I get elsewhere…which leads me to my nighttime binge…

I still have a lot of work to do at home with Mary! She convinces me to eat everything, but sometimes I just end up eating everything in sight without her even saying a word…I just do it in front of her. It’s really weird. I guess I have it in my head that she expects to always see me eating, so when I see her, I associate her presence and personality with eating. Hence, last night I ate 2 bowls of Kashi cereal (one bowl without milk), Butterfinger Ice Cream, and a Smart Ones Dessert. Oh yeah, and a slice of pizza minutes before I went to bed! I’ve said this plenty of times before…I’M SO SICK OF THIS SHIT. I want this to end. I think I’ve officially hit the “plateau.” My weight loss has definitely stalled, in fact, I’ve leveled out at an average of 147lbs. I know I can be lighter than this. I can probably comfortably maintain a weight of 140 once I chisel away the rest of the fat around my midsection.

Looking back at my past exercise routine, I realize how regimented I became with my DVDs. I think my DVD schedule definitely helped jump-start my weight loss and kept me busy in the afternoons after work. However, I was only getting 6 hours of sleep with this schedule. Now, I’m doing a lot more running and working out at the gym every day during my lunch breaks. My lunch break routines are pretty beneficial because I do strength training. I love upper body days because my muscles feel like rubber by the end. I need to work harder on lower body strength training though. The only problem I’m facing is soreness in my legs afterward that prevents me from running at my best. I have to do some more research to see how much “hardcore” lower body strength training is really necessary for runners. I don’t think I need to be as consistent with that as I do with upper body. My legs are pretty strong already because I’m always running up massive hills during my runs.

Earlier this morning I ordered 2 more DVDs online. I received a 20% Off coupon from Gaiam after I bought my dad his Christmas gift, so I decided to use it. The first one is Cardio Burn – Kickbox and the other is Cardio Burn – Sculpt. I need to burn as many calories as possible and it seems like these 2 DVDs will help do the trick! I can’t wait to do some kickboxing! Since Lauren and I are going to be kicking things into high gear when the new season of Biggest Loser starts, I figured what a better way to mix it up!

Speaking of which, just like Lauren mentioned in her post, I’m also going to get really serious about setting goals and rewards for myself. I need to be as realistic and specific as possible. I’m going to keep my calorie range between 1,200 and 1,500 (probably closer to 1,500) and set a goal to lose 1 pound per week. I’m pretty sure that 1,500 calories per day plus lots of exercise will shoot me closer to 2 pounds per week, but realistically 1 pound is about right. ALSO, and this is very important…when I’m home this weekend, I’m going to take some bikini pictures of myself. I have my tiniest bikini at home now (it’s old and I use it in the hot tub, but it’ll work!). Even though I’ve lost a very solid 10 pounds since May (closer to 15 on good days!) I know that I still don’t look “bikini-ready.” This picture will definitely remind me of that! On the day of the Biggest Loser Finale in May I will take a new picture. Looking back at pictures of me from last year and earlier this year, I can definitely see the differences! It makes me happy and I can’t believe I’ve already lost 10+ pounds! I never thought I’d be able to do it. So, I’m going to take this plateau as a huge learning experience and keep going strong!

I’ve updated my workouts for the rest of this week and I’ve started filling out my schedule for next week. I’ve been following a half-marathon training program (the last 6 weeks of one). Last week, because of the snow, I couldn’t go for my long run. I was really disappointed, but it would’ve been really unsafe for me to attempt it in icy conditions. I’ve also been shuffling around the scheduled runs to fit into my work schedule and strength training schedule. For example, I try not to do interval runs on a lower body strength day. It’s simply too taxing on my legs. I also look at the weather reports. If I know the weather is going to be crappy and I’m supposed to run 6 miles, I’ll switch the 6-mile run with a 3-miler and opt for the treadmill indoors.

I think I’ve taken this fuck-up as yet another opportunity to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I told Mary last night that when I come back on Tuesday night things are going to be a lot different for me. I hope she can respect me and stop tempting me so much! It’s one thing to have 2 boxes of Cookie Crisp cereal in the cupboard, but to constantly be teasing me about eating it is a completely different story!

More to come later…

(TBD) Workouts December 28, 2009-January 3, 2010 December 24, 2009

Monday, December 28, 2009 (HOME):

• REST
• Cardio @ Gym – easy stationary bike/elliptical
• Yoga DVD – Stretch & Flexibility Section
• Pilates

Tuesday, December 29, 2009 (HOME):

• 5×800 10k Pace (at home)
• Cardio @ Gym
• Abs Diet DVD (35 minutes)

Wednesday, December 30, 2009:

• 3-Mile Run
• Strength Training – Upper Body
• Jump Rope (30 seconds between each Upper Body exercise)
• Abs
• DVD?

Thursday, December 31, 2009:

• 30-minute Tempo Run
• 40-minute Cardio @ Gym
• Strength Training – Lower Body – Abs Diet DVD (35 minutes)
• Abs

Friday, January 1, 2010:

• Easy Run
• Pilates – 60 minutes
• DVD?

Saturday, January 2, 2010:

• 3-Mile Run

Sunday, January 3, 2010:

• 15k Race?

Day 212 – This is IT! December 24, 2009

Weight: 148.4lbs

Breakfast (1:00am):

• 1 Hearty Grain 12 Grain English Muffin = 140 calories
• 1 Tbsp Peanut Butter = 95 calories
• 2 Cups of Coffee w/ Creamer = 34 calories

Breakfast Total: 269 calories

Snack (5:15am):

• 1/2 Cup Quaker Oatmeal = 150 calories

Lunch (8:00am):

• 1 Whole Grain Spinach Artichoke Chicken Lean Pocket = 260 calories

Snack (1:15pm):

• 3oz Baby Carrots = 35 calories
• Celery Sticks = 5 calories
• 2 Tbsp Chipotle Hummus = 45 calories

Snack (4:00pm):

• 1/4 Cup Dark Cocoa Almonds = 150 calories
• 1 Medium DD Coffee = 50 calories

Dinner:

• 3oz Grilled Chicken
• Steamed Broccoli
• Baked Beans

Other:

• Roasted Peanuts
• 2 Oatmeal Cookies
• 2 Ginger Snaps
• 2 Lindt Chocolate Balls
• 1.5 Glasses of Red Wine

Not too bad for Christmas Eve with my parents! Although, I probably shouldn’t have eaten 2 of each cookie and the Lindt Chocolate.

What happened last night? I’ll tell you… December 23, 2009

I was so proud of myself all day yesterday. I ate healthy foods, made GREAT choices, and completed all my workouts. So what could have possibly ruined my accomplishments? Ah, yes, exhaustion.

I went to the mall after work to find my Mom a Christmas present. When I finally got back to the house, it was about 5:00. This was the perfect amount of time for me to shower, straighten up my room, and be in bed by 6:00 to get 6 hours of sleep. So what was the problem? I got it in my head that I was way too tired to bother cleaning my room, showering, or fixing my lunch for today. So instead, I set up my lap top at the dining room table and scooped away at a Smart Ones dessert. Granted, I still had a few calories to spare and this ONE dessert would bring me to just over 1,500 calories. That was fine with me. I deserved it, especially after successfully avoiding all sorts of Christmas cookies and desserts at work. Unfortunately, one dessert turned into a bowl of Cookie Crisp Cereal (which I haven’t had in weeks). That bowl turned into another bowl. That bowl turned into another Smart Ones Dessert. All of these desserts brought my daily caloric intake to just under 2,300 calories. This isn’t a HUGE disaster calorie-wise, but it’s a disaster decision-wise. My overtiredness (is that even a word?) led me to these decisions and it became a chain reaction.  “I’m tired. I’m going to eat instead of putting the effort into getting ready for bed. Why bother going to bed anyway? I know I’ll be exhausted tomorrow just the same…so I’m going to eat.” That was basically my thought process. I even made myself aware of the fact that I wasn’t hungry, and yet I still ate anyway.

Once I took a shower, I debated brushing my teeth because I thought, ”I really want another dessert, and I want to sit in my bed and eat it.” I was trying to think of smooth ways to sneak into the kitchen to get another one without Mary or Dale commenting. What the hell is wrong with that picture?

So, I brushed my teeth. I even debated whether or not to brush them and also thought, “Haha, I’m going to brush my teeth and then go eat something anyway.” Sure enough, I brushed my teeth and then went straight to bed. I woke up this morning at the same weight as yesterday, so I feel ok about that.

Today is a new day…

Day 211 – ENOUGH ALREADY! December 23, 2009

Weight: 147.8lbs

Breakfast (1:00am):

• 1 Hearty Grain 12 Grain English Muffin = 140 calories
• 1 Tbsp Peanut Butter = 95 calories

Breakfast Total: 235 calories

Snack (4:00am):

• 1/2 Cup Vanilla Light & Fit Yogurt = 55 calories
• 1/4 Cup Granola = 115 calories
• 1/4 Cup Prunes = 110 calories
• 5 Dried Figlets = 110 calories
• 20 Raspberries = 20 calories

Snack Total: 410 calories

Snack (6:15am):

• 1 String Cheese Stick = 50 calories

Snack (6:45am):

• 1 Medium Hazelnut Coffee w/ Soy Milk = 50 calories *I looked at the calories in the soy milk this place uses and it’s only 90 calories per serving…now if only I saw what constitutes a serving. I only use a splash though, so it can’t be much. Nonetheless, I’m still going to call it 50 calories just to overcompensate.*
• 1 Fat Free Triple Berry Muffin = 290 calories

TEMPTATION (8:30am):

• Kerri basically said “You’re splitting this bagel with me,” ripped it in half and put the rest in front of me on my desk. I took 2 bites to appease her and then when she left to go to a meeting I threw the rest away! = 50 calories

Lunch (10:00am):

• 1 Can of Campbell’s Select = 160 calories
• 3oz Baby Carrots = 35 calories
• 2 Tbsp Chipotle Hummus = 45 calories

Dinner (2:30pm):

• 1/4 Cup Dark Cocoa Almonds = 150 calories
• 1 Vegetable w/ Cheese Sauce Package = 200 calories

BAD DECISIONS:

• 1 Slice of Pizza = 260 calories
• 2 Bowls of Kashi Cereal w/ 2% Milk = close to 400 calories?
• 1 Smart Ones Chocolate Mocha Sundae Dessert = 160 calories
• 3 Small Scoops of Edy’s Butterfinger Ice Cream = 300 calories?

Approximate Daily Total: 2,795 calories

Food, glorious food! December 22, 2009

I could’ve been blogging all morning, except I’ve officially just spent WAY too much time on Facebook searching for and friending people I haven’t seen or spoken to in quite some time! So, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system I think it’s time to do a little writing about some of the issues I’ve been experiencing lately.

The first thing that comes to mind is of course the obvious, my fascination with and likely addiction to food. I love food so much. I love the taste, I love the color, I love the smell. I love everything about it! But do I really? Or is this apparent “love” really disguising some underlying emotional issues I have? I truly believe so. I’ve never loved food like this before. In fact, when I was younger my parents always seemed to have a hard time getting me to try new things. I’m not much of a meat lover or a seafood enthusiast. I eat the occasional piece of steak, morsel of shrimp and can of tuna, but I really haven’t ventured into many different food genres other than the basics: fruits, vegetables, any type of carbohydrate, eggs, etc. Simple enough, right? So why the heck do I love these simple foods so much?

It’s a habit. Just like any other “bad” habit such as smoking or biting ones nails, eating food has become a “bad” habit for me. The only downside to acquiring this habit is that it is unfortunately not something I can completely get rid of from my life. Everyone needs nutritious food to survive! No one needs to smoke or bite their nails to survive, so it seems a bit more simple to completely nix those habits. Thus, my dilemma…

Before I try to solve this problem, maybe I should attempt to yank this thing out by its roots. People have labeled me as the food lover. I’m the human waste disposal. I can eat anything and as much of it as you ask me to because it’ll surprise, shock, and impress you. I’m like Pavlov’s dog…ring that damn bell and I’ll surely come running with drool dripping out my mouth, anxiously waiting for the dangling food. The problem is, I’ve always been the food lover, but before that title became my #1, I used to be the drink lover…alchohol drinks to be exact. I used to be the girl that would always go to any party with anyone. I was always down to have a great time and always the one to drink the most. Why? Attention, maybe? Covering up my own problems? An excuse to get wasted? All of the above. I never thought about it, I just drank. Drinking gave me something else to do other than face my own problems. Duh, I’ve known this all along. Dr. Carey brought it to my attention in a much deeper way, too.

It’s kind of annoying because once I got my drinking under control (or so I think), now food has become my problem. I’ve already gone through different phases of overeating. I think I’ve officially gotten salty foods out of my system. I used to love sitting down with a bag of potato chips, pretzels, crackers, you name it! Now I rarely eat them at all. I guess that’s a good sign! My new vice is chocoalte and anything sweet. I love ice cream, candy, and cookies are especially my favorite. I think I’ve binged enough on these over the last few months to hope that they won’t be as appealing soon, but I think it’s going to take me a little longer. The one good thing is that now my body has adjusted to eating healthy, so when I do indulge in anything salty I tend to not even want it because it burns the inside of my mouth. Sweet foods are a different story! I could eat pint after pint of ice cream or a whole box of chocolate chip cookies. It’s horrendous.

(All this talk of food is actually making me hungry.)

Rather than try to go back to pinpoint all my cravings and the emotions behind them, I’m going to do my best from now on to write an entry every time I have a craving to figure out exactly how I’m feeling when I want to eat. Plus, it’ll keep me busy and hopefully prevent me from overeating (I’m going to try to eliminate the word “binge” from my vocabulary).

Day 210 December 22, 2009

Weight: 147.8lbs (getting there!)

Breakfast (1:15am):

• 1 Hearty Grain 12 Grain English Muffin = 140 calories
• 1 Tbsp Peanut Butter = 95 calories
• 10 Raspberries = 10 calories
• 2 Cups of Coffee + Creamer = 34 calories

Breakfast Total: 279 calories

Snack (4:15am):

• 1/2 Cup Vanilla Light & Fit Yogurt = 55 calories
• 1/4 Cup Dried Prunes = 110 calories
• 1/4 Cup Dried Apricots = 100 calories
• 1/4 Cup Granola = 115 calories
• 10 Raspberries = 10 calories

Snack Total: 390 calories

Snack (5:10am):

• 1 Kashi Dark Mocha Almond Granola Bar = 130 calories

Snack (6:45am):

• 1 String Cheese Stick = 50 calories

Snack (8:00am):

• 1 Orange = 62 calories

Lunch (10:00am):

• 3oz Baby Carrots = 35 calories
• 2 Tbsp Chipotle Hummus = 45 calories
• 1 Can of Campbell’s Select Harvest Light Southwestern-Style Vegetable Soup = 100 calories

Dinner (2:00pm):

• 1 Spinach Artichoke Chicken Lean Pocket = 260 calories
• 1 Diet Pepsi = TO MAKE ME FEEL BLOATED AT THE MALL!

After the mall (BAD DECISIONS):

• 1 Smart Ones Peanut Butter Cup Sundae Dessert = 170 calories
• 2 Bowls of Cookie Crisp w/ 2% Milk = approx. 600 calories?
• 1 Smart Ones Chocolate Cookie Dough Sundae Dessert = 170 calories

Daily Total: 2,291 calories (UGH!)

Workouts December 21-27, 2009 December 21, 2009

Monday, December 21, 2009:

• Strength Training – Lower Body
• Jump Rope for 30 seconds in between each set of Lower Body exercises
• Abs

Tuesday, December 22, 2009:

• 3×1600 Race Pace (Walk .25-mile; jog .25-mile @ 6mph; run 1 mile @ 8mph; jog .25-mile @ 6mph; run 1 mile @ 8mph; jog .25-mile @ 6mph; run 1 mile @ 8mph; jog .25-mile @ 6mph; walk .25-mile.) *3.75 miles run
• Strength Training – Upper Body
• Jump Rope for 30 seconds in between each set of Upper Body exercises
• Abs

Wednesday, December 23, 2009:

• 3-mile Run
• 10-minute Stationary Bike

Thursday, December 24, 2009:

• Strength Training – Upper Body
• Jump Rope for 30 seconds in between each set of Upper Body exercises
• Abs
• 30-minutes extra cardio (10 minutes Elliptical, 10 minutes Rowing Machine, 10 minutes Elliptical)

Friday, December 25, 2009:

• Pilates (20 minutes)
• 9-mile Run
• Strength Training – Abs Diet DVD (35 minutes) – Lower Body
• Yoga for Athletes DVD – Running section and Stretch & Flexibility Section (60 minutes)

Saturday, December 26, 2009:

• Pilates (20 minutes)
• 5-mile Run
• Cardio @ Gym – Elliptical, rowing machine, bike
• Strength Training @ Gym – Upper Body
• Abs

Sunday, December 27, 2009:

• Pilates (20 minutes)
• Long Run = 1 Hour and 45 Minutes – approximately 11-12 miles
• Abs
• Yoga

Day 209 December 21, 2009

Weight: 148.4lbs (This is ridiculous! My goal for this week is to get back down to 145.)

Breakfast (1:15am):

• 1 Hearty Grain 12 Grain English Muffin = 140 calories
• 1 Tbsp Peanut Butter *plus extra because I scooped up any extra peanut butter remains in the jar* = 110 calories
• 2 Cups of Coffee + Creamer = 34 calories

Snack (5:30am):

• 1/4 Cup Dark Cocoa Almonds = 150 calories

Snack (7:30am):

• 1 Orange = 62 calories

Post-Gym:

• Raspberry Smoothie = 200 calories (just guessin’!)

Lunch (11:07am):

• 3 Cups Salad = 30 calories
• 10 Cherry Tomatoes = 30 calories
• 2 Tbsp Salsa = 10 calories
• 1 Turkey Sandwich w/ Jalapeno Cheese = 300 calories (just guessin’!)
• 1 Serving Blue Corn Tortilla Chips = 110 calories

Dinner (3:00pm):

• 2 Eggs = 140 calories
• Chopped Tomatoes & Onions

Dessert:

• 1 Smart Ones Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Sundae = 170 calories

Daily Total: 1,516 calories